Choice Theory : A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, Paperback Book

Choice Theory : A New Psychology of Personal Freedom Paperback

4.5 out of 5 (4 ratings)

Description

Glasser has worked with choice theory for half of his 40 years of psychiatric practice.

Basically, choice theory helps its users avoid confrontation and ask pertinent questions.

It sees conscious or unconscious desire for external control as the main problem in the four major personal relationships: husband-wife, parent-child, teacher-student, and manager-worker.

If you think you can control others, it counsels, you are in for trouble, for the only person you can control is yourself.

So all personal problems are both present problems and relationship problems.

Glasser urges anyone in a relationship to ask, before taking a step, whether that step will keep the two related persons at least as close together as they are now; if it will, it may be worth taking.

Combining choice theory and reality therapy in his practice, Glasser has been able to shorten the durations of his treatment programs substantially.

As he presents them here, his theories and approaches can be applied in education and business as well as for self-help.

Information

  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 368 pages, Illustrations
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Inc
  • Publication Date:
  • Category: Family & relationships
  • ISBN: 9780060930141

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Reviews

Showing 1 - 4 of 4 reviews.

Review by
3

I love this book. It sure does challenge other psychology theorists. Thinking outside of the square.

Review by
5

I think everyone in America could benefit from this book! It was very well-written and easy to understand.

Review by
5

Choice Theory as created by Glasser is really extraordinary. Basically humans choose everything that we do, we are in control directly or indirectly of everything. <br/><br/>Hold up there, then why are so many people depressed and miserable, you ask? Well, a person would not intentionally choose to be miserable, but they may choose behaviors and thoughts that make them so. See, the way Glasser puts it (as I understand it) is to say that humans have 5 needs: 1) Love and belonging, 2) Power 3) Survival 4) Freedom 5) Fun (I did not place them in any order). And we behave in ways to meet those needs. So, perhaps my need for love is lower than my need for freedom, I may jeopardize relationships with people in order to maintain freedom (which could at times also make me loney and unhappy). I may have such a strong need for love and belonging that I allow myself to be in an abusive relationship--as long as the abuser meets that need (the honeymoon period after violence where the abused is told he/she is loved and that the abuse will never happen again).<br/><br/>Here's the deal--humans all have different levels of these needs, and we need to be sure that the people in our lives (ie: romantic relationships) have similar needs as we do...or else it might lead to problems. (Can you imagine the relationship where Person A has a low need for Freedom, but a very high need for Love....being with Person B who has a very high need for Freedom and an average need for Love? Recipe for fighting? I think so...) There is no 'right' amount needed (although he speculates that sociopaths may have a far too low need for love) by anyone, but matching up with others may prove useful.<br/><br/>Here's the other big part of choice theory (formerly known as control theory): you can ONLY control your OWN behavior...not the behavior of others. Let that sink in a bit. You can't make other people do what you want them to do. The girl striving to get married can't force her boyfriend to propose any more than the parent (or teacher) can force the child to do school work. We can hope they will do it, but in the end you have to decide if you want to nag and guilt people into doing what you want them to, or if you want to maintain the strong relationship with the person. <br/><br/>Excellent book and a great way to think about human relationships. I'd say you should read it too.

Review by
5

Choice Theory as created by Glasser is really extraordinary. Basically humans choose everything that we do, we are in control directly or indirectly of everything. <br/><br/>Hold up there, then why are so many people depressed and miserable, you ask? Well, a person would not intentionally choose to be miserable, but they may choose behaviors and thoughts that make them so. See, the way Glasser puts it (as I understand it) is to say that humans have 5 needs: 1) Love and belonging, 2) Power 3) Survival 4) Freedom 5) Fun (I did not place them in any order). And we behave in ways to meet those needs. So, perhaps my need for love is lower than my need for freedom, I may jeopardize relationships with people in order to maintain freedom (which could at times also make me loney and unhappy). I may have such a strong need for love and belonging that I allow myself to be in an abusive relationship--as long as the abuser meets that need (the honeymoon period after violence where the abused is told he/she is loved and that the abuse will never happen again).<br/><br/>Here's the deal--humans all have different levels of these needs, and we need to be sure that the people in our lives (ie: romantic relationships) have similar needs as we do...or else it might lead to problems. (Can you imagine the relationship where Person A has a low need for Freedom, but a very high need for Love....being with Person B who has a very high need for Freedom and an average need for Love? Recipe for fighting? I think so...) There is no 'right' amount needed (although he speculates that sociopaths may have a far too low need for love) by anyone, but matching up with others may prove useful.<br/><br/>Here's the other big part of choice theory (formerly known as control theory): you can ONLY control your OWN behavior...not the behavior of others. Let that sink in a bit. You can't make other people do what you want them to do. The girl striving to get married can't force her boyfriend to propose any more than the parent (or teacher) can force the child to do school work. We can hope they will do it, but in the end you have to decide if you want to nag and guilt people into doing what you want them to, or if you want to maintain the strong relationship with the person. <br/><br/>Excellent book and a great way to think about human relationships. I'd say you should read it too.