Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Paperback

Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself Paperback

4.5 out of 5 (4 ratings)


Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--"Codependent No More." The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, "Codependent No More" is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.

Melody Beattie is the author of "Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook" and "Playing It by Heart."


  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 208 pages, notes, bibliography
  • Publisher: Hazelden Information & Educational Services
  • Publication Date:
  • Category: Popular psychology
  • ISBN: 9780894864025



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Showing 1 - 4 of 4 reviews.

Review by

A good, basic, all-around self-help book. This one is a great start for anyone with unhealthy patterns and long strings of horrible relationships.The original target audience for this book (and its concepts) were significant others of alcoholics. Yet many (including myself) have found the patterns of a codependent apply to anyone with unhealthy attachments to others.At the time I read this, I was just getting out of a bad marriage. I was terribly depressed to the point of being near-non-functional. This book gave me some basic building blocks for climbing that first step towards sanity. I learned I didn't have to be absorbed by someone else to be happy. I learned I needed to take care of myself first, then others.With a little imagination, the basic dynamics detailed in this book can also be seen in social dynamics of larger groups. The unhealthy clinging, manipulations, and drama that lead to petty infighting (in smaller groups) and political dysfunction (on a societal scale).

Review by

Very helpful, sound advice. Includes anecdotes from recovering codependents, to highlight that we are not alone in our struggles with relationship issues.

Review by

I like this book, which does not make it easy to read. It is written clearly, and is straightforward, yet it is at times difficult to maintain focus. The stories are paramount, though none will identify will them all. Read it. Find the pearls.A Very Personal Perspective: I finally launched (well, compared to the tentative perusal I previously managed) into Codependent No More today. The initial pages of conversations with codependents are as expected in that they are generally about partners of alcoholics. Not only do I not identify with this, but despite my intellectual understanding of the fact that it isn't about the alcoholism, I dread each story. When you see nothing in common with the stories, it is difficult to find motivation to continue. By page 32, I am most thoroughly disenchanted with the conversations, although the "brief history" of the concept and naming of codependence is mildly interesting, based on the minimal description. And then on page 36, the author inks a single sentence definition of codependency. And I begin to pay attention."A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."By page 37, I am interested when the author acknowledges that she is not an expert on codependence, and does not know for a fact if it is an illness. And as she offers to continue the "brief history", it is evident that she is passionate about what is and is not real with regard to this apparently self-destructive predisposition. As she goes on to describe codependence, I am struck by the thought that she is describing every compassionate human being that ever lived, every humanitarian that made a difference, and every individual who ever reached out a hand to a person in need. I am reminded of a quote that has personified me and haunted me for most of my adult life."your greatest strength can become your greatest weakness." And I am compelled to read on, for how can something so purely benevolent become something so utterly self-destructive? I know that I am looking for an answer, and yet it is unlikely that I will find one. For if I have learned anything in this world, it is that there are no silver bullets, no ultimate solutions to end human mistakes, discomfort and error, to end human suffering and stagnation, or to remove roadblocks to human progress. There are only conversations and possibilities. Ultimately, we must choose our conversations, opt to expand our thoughts, and fearlessly open up to the possibilities. And so I read on.

Review by

I like this book and feel that it will be like a bible to me during my trying times. I feel it is a good reference and go to and was very helpful to my situation and the possiblity of handling future situations for me. I enjoy the storyies she includes and can relate to some, not all of them. However everyone goes through things in their life differently. The way she has written this book I think most anyone going through this would benefit from reading. This was recommended to me by my thereapist and I am truly glad she recommended it.

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